2010's Top 5 Most Intriguing Upcoming Films!

While perusing this list, you might find your blood-pressure rising an iota, your mind heatedly asking “Where’s Iron Man 2, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 or Free Willy 4: Escape from Pirate Cove?!! How could they possibly be excluded? I demand to know who wrote this tripe!”

Well, that’s because these five selections constitute the most intriguing projects on the horizon; films with little advertising presence or explicit advance buzz. Movies that are question marks, as opposed to exclamation marks.

The aforementioned three, er two biggies — plus Alice in Wonderland, The A-Team, Tron: Legacy and the like — lack the mystery and creative innovativeness to make this particular list. As exciting as they seem, there’s precious little uncertainty to lay awake pondering and speculating over.

Rather, these five choices are the films I’m most eager to see unleashed onto audiences in 2010. They may be disasters or they could prove to be masterpieces, but either way there’s an irresistible air of secrecy and uniqueness around them that has me impatient to uncover whatever hidden genius may be burning within.

So, on that note, enjoy.

5. THE RUNAWAYS (March 19, 2010 – limited): This rock biopic of the famous titular ’70s teen band is based on lead singer Cherie Currie’s memoir Neon Angel and bears all the markings of being a rivetingly authentic, down ‘n dirty journey through the alternately glitzy and soul-killingly cruel music industry meat-grinder. Packed with a number of Hollywood It! Girls — including Dakota Fanning as Currie, Twilight’s Kristen Stewart as Joan Jett and Halloween’s Scout Taylor-Compton as Lita Ford — The Runaways could provide a spectacularly raw showcase for these actresses to wow audiences turned off by their previous less-than-stellar genre-based work. Directed by Floria Sigismondi – who helmed two of Marilyn Manson’s most visually inventive and influential videos in “The Beautiful People” and “Tourniquet” – and backed by a no-doubt killer soundtrack, this flick packs serious Devil Horn-waving potential.

Check out the short teaser here.

4. I LOVE YOU PHILLIP MORRIS (March 26, 2010 – limited): Although Jim Carrey has yet to receive many accolades for his dramatic work, his output has been exceedingly strong – minus The Number 23 – so I’m really eager to see this quirky homosexual love story pairing him against the always reliable Ewan McGregor. Walking a fine line between comedy and heartfelt drama, Phillip Morris chronicles the true-life tale of a happily married southern policeman who — following a fateful tragic accident — considerably alters the course of his life, switching teams, as it were, and living life on a the wild side. After meeting McGregor’s character in a prison stint, Carey’s Steven Russell becomes obsessed with breaking his newfound love out of the clink, and a game of twisty conman-ship begins. The film has supposedly been stuck on the shelf for a while, with the studio unsure of how to market a project filled with unabashedly gay material, but, personally, I can’t wait to see what the rubber-faced funny-man can do with such a challenging role. Who knows, if it clicks, it may even earn him his first long-awaited Oscar nomination. Time will tell.

Open your eyes to the first full-length international trailer here. (Caution: It’s a tad risqué, so I’m gonna label it NSFW.)

3. BLACK SWAN (2010): What in the name of One-Eyed Odin is Darren Aronofsky up to with this supernatural ballet thriller? You can read a little more about my thoughts — and some character details — regarding the project in a past news story I did for It’s Just Movies, but let me add that I’m truly fascinated by whatever it is the crafty director is up to. I’m also desperately hoping that Aronofsky can really launch Mila Kunis – a ridiculously charismatic A-list talent in the making – into the stratosphere while also weaving another character-driven cinematic tapestry worthy of deep contemplation and critical analysis. Maybe Black Swan can also give the director’s sadly underwhelming box-office reputation a much-needed boost. The promise of Kunis and Natalie Portman in tights can’t hurt too much.

2. THE FIGHTER (2010): Helmed by notoriously combustible auteur David O. Russell, this based-on-true-events drama details the burgeoning early career of “Irish” Mickey Ward (Mark Wahlberg), a boxer on his way to the light welterweight-level pros with the help of his recovering drug addict half-brother Dickie Eklund (Christian Bale). With supporting assistance from Academy Award-nominees Amy Adams and Melissa Leo, this project has all the bearings and prestige of being a 2010 Oscar dark-horse. Besides the appeal of the gritty underdog story, what really has me drooling in anticipation over The Fighter is the early buzz surrounding Bale’s go-for-broke performance, wherein he apparently disappears under the wounded skin of his emotionally-damaged character. Early spy pics reveal an emaciated shell of a man – a welcome departure from the gruff, tormented heroes he’s specialized in as of late – which will hopefully remind forgetful critics and ticket-buyers of the actor’s chameleon-like ability to distort and manipulate his own image when required. If Russell can hold the whole shebang together, we may have a serious contender on our hands.

1. INCEPTION (July 16, 2010): Do you even have to ask why? This is Christopher Nolan’s big dice-roll; a chance to parlay his gargantuan Dark Knight success into an epic-sized $200-million-dollar passion project largely free of studio interference and outside input. Whatever the results, Inception promises to be Nolan 100 percent unfiltered, exploring his own obsessions (identity confusion, perhaps?) on the biggest canvas with the biggest, most talented stars — including Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Michael Caine, Marion Cotillard — possible. What is it about? I don’t want to know until I walk out of the midnight advance showing. However, after such glorious mind-f***’s as Memento and The Prestige, my expectations are mighty high. Fortunately, Mr. Nolan — one of the most dependable directors currently toiling in the biz of show — is thus far seemingly incapable of producing work that doesn’t surprise and leave us begging for more.

You can try to unlock Inception's latest trailer here.

Film Review - THE LOVELY BONES

Even the greatest film directors occasionally meet a cinematic nut they can’t crack; an ambitious tighwire walk of a project that ultimately culminates in a glorious mess of inappropriate stylistic tics, confused storytelling, and misspent good intentions. Steven Spielberg had 1941. Martin Scorsese had New York, New York. Tim Burton had Planet of the Apes. And now Peter Jackson, the visionary mastermind behind The Lord of the Rings and the flawed (but sweeping) King Kong remake, has The Lovely Bones, a perfect storm of gross artistic overindulgence and narrative carelessness.

Too bad, because it’s not as if Alice Sebold’s best-selling 2002 novel, which traced, in heartstring-pulling detail, the life and untimely death of 14-year-old Susie Salmon (“Like the fish!”), was devoid of rich material. As portrayed in the film version by gifted young actress Saoirse Ronan — an Oscar-nominee for 2007’s Atonement — Susie is a sprightly, shy, and cheerful middle-child, adored by her loving middle-class parents Jack and Abigail (Mark Wahlberg and Rachel Weisz), as well as her boozy, vampy grandmother Lynn (Susan Sarandon), and hopelessly enamoured with her dreamy British classmate Ray (Reece Ritchie). As cruel fate would have it, however, shortly after her nervous first interaction with the object of her unbridled affection, Susie is lured to her doom by her creepy neighbour Mr. Harvey (a sinister and barely recognizable Stanley Tucci), a cunning sexual predator who hides behind a deceptively placid demeanour of nerdy shlubbiness.

Spirited away from our earthly domain, the girl awakens in the “In-between,” a heavenly surrealistic world of lush green gardens, bobbing lighthouses, crystalline ocean, and ornately-designed gazebos, where she is able to observe first-hand the shattering after-effects of her grim demise upon the people she loves. While her anguished father becomes consumed with the need for closure — an obsession which causes a dreadful rift between the two Salmon parents — and Grandma Lynn is forced to take dominance over the broken household, Susie’s inquisitive older sister Lindsey (Rose McIver) begins to stir animalistic cravings within Mr. Harvey’s unhinged mind. Eager for revenge against her killer and desperately yearning for her family to heal, Susie becomes stuck in limbo, unable to move onto the next stage of the afterlife until she can find solace in her present situation and leave her cherished former life behind.

In its earliest stages, prior to Susie’s regrettable exit, Jackson’s direction feels confident and restrained, carefully drawing the viewer into the immaculately-recreated 1970s-period setting and allowing us to settle comfortably into the wholly ordinary — yet ominously foreboding — daily life of the Salmon clan. He makes us genuinely care for these people, for their modest hopes and dreams, and understands exactly how to twinge our fragile human sympathies when necessary. Indeed, when Tucci’s perverted killer makes his presence fully known, casually convincing Susie to step into his underground hide-out, it’s akin to being locked in an emotional vice, unable to turn away from the unavoidable tragedy chillingly taking place on-screen.

Unfortunately, it’s at this crucial point that the crippling limitations of the patchwork screenplay by Jackson, Fran Walsh, and Philippa Boyens, rear their ugly head and The Lovely Bones scatters in multiple directions at once. Although the story is ostensibly intended to be an intimate study of a family in turmoil, the script unforgivably condenses the Salmons’ poignant journey into a superficial series of un-involving bullet-points (Weisz’ character, in particular, feels criminally short-changed) with the occasional inappropriate comedic montage tossed in to alleviate the gloom. It’s perhaps a sign of the film’s borderline cynical nature that the unsavoury murderer is given a more satisfying and well-developed character arc than Susie’s mourning loved ones.

The Lovely Bones’ biggest bungle, though, is in how Jackson chooses to portray Susie’s psychedelic, prog-rock album cover-esque trip through the magical “In-between” zone. Exploiting the potential of gaudy CGI to its fullest, the director creates a fantasy-land which, more often than not, comes across like Ronan standing in front of a splashy demo-reel. These dreary segments, which constitute a large chunk of the film’s run-time, feel utterly disconnected from the rest of the work and lead to numerous jarring edits when the story bounces clumsily between its two contrasting realms.

If there is an upside to this often disastrous — yet bizarrely watchable — work, it’s that Jackson’s inherent brilliance as a filmmaker does manage to make itself known from time-to-time, such as during a nail-bitingly tense house investigation sequence. Sure, these moments are quickly overshadowed by the flick’s insufferably inept storytelling, or unintentionally hilarious bits (don’t even get me started on the inexplicably dragged-out climax involving a safe that seems to take upwards of an hour to move 10 feet), but they act as a pleasant oasis in the middle of an otherwise barren entertainment desert. Still, for the good of Peter Jackson’s otherwise-impeccable filmography and future, I propose that The Lovely Bones be swiftly buried in a shallow grave, preferably unmarked.

2 out of 5

*Originally printed in SFU's The Peak: Jan 25th, 2010.

The Worst Films of 2009!

Before delving into my Top 10 Worst Films of 2009, I’d like to make clear that this list is not without its glaring omissions. I never subjected myself to All about Steve, Old Dogs or The Hottie and the Nottie. I avoided Bride Wars and Miss March like the plague. I also made sure to not buy a ticket to Planet 51.

I did see New Moon and Transformers 2 but they fell more into the “forgettably mediocre” category than the “unwatchable” one.

So, basically, this list really represents the most unbearable movie-watching experience I did end up enduring this year, the films that either caught me by complete, horrified surprise, or I went in gritting my teeth for.

Anyhoo, onto the list!

1) HALLOWEEN II If Rob Zombie’s remake of John Carpenter’s 1978 original was uninspired and hackneyed, his sequel is an utterly embarrassing catastrophe; a wildly miscalculated attempt at creating an artsy slasher film through hokey pop-psychology, tin-eared humour, migraine-inducing surrealism and chaotically-edited, emotionless brutality. Despite the best efforts of a game, if stiff, cast, the once-promising director drags this project through the sordid muck and grime every chance he gets, producing an excruciatingly ugly exercise in banal cruelty without momentum or a glimmer of intelligence. Halloween II proves that even the formidable Michael Myers is no match for a crazed Zombie.

2) SORORITY ROW I personally guarantee that viewing this mean-spirited slasher picture will leave you desiring a shower well before the drawn-out, tawdry conclusion. Director Stewart Hendler has created a truly hateful, sleazy slice of nasty misogyny with Sorority Row, a mind-numbing murder mystery featuring a band of repulsive, racist, venom-tongued, alcoholic super-sluts attempting to figure out the identity of a cloaked, tire-iron-wielding executioner. Making up his female cast like Hastings Street hookers and eagerly searching for new methods of degrading them, the pervy helmer ignores building intensity or terror in favour of killing their dignities on-screen in as gruesome a fashion as possible.

3) THE UNBORN Intended to be a Jewish variation of The Exorcist, the relentlessly dour and dull The Unborn, written and directed by David S. Goyer, feels like a potpourri of out-dated, recycled ideas. Creepy-crawly bugs? Check. Spooky, wide-eyed children? Check. Nightmarish nocturnal visions of sinister animals? Check. Twitching, sputtering victims of demonic possession? Check. A frequently underwear-clad young woman (possible Real Doll© Odette Yustman) with a mysterious past? You know it. The fact that none of these venerable-if-ill-fitting elements add up to a single memorable moment of genuine fright? Now, THAT’S scary!

4) GAMER Not content to stick to their absurd Crank franchise, creative duo Neveldine/Taylor instead turned their ADD-riddled attentions to this fractured and thin attempt at social commentary, which would be laughable if it weren’t so damn grating. Pulling from their now-tired bag of tricks – which includes random blasts of graphic sex and nudity, dripping gore, epilepsy-triggering action, and general perversity – the directorial dunderheads attempt to viciously criticize their general fan-base while alternately following the adventures of Gerard Butler’s character, a prisoner taking part in a real-life video-game. Light on excitement and fun, long on deafening obnoxiousness, Gamer’s plug should have been pulled during the script-phase.

5) UNDERWORLD: RISE OF THE LYCANS A stale prequel to 2003’s clunky vampires vs. werewolves smack-down extravaganza Underworld, Rise of the Lycans attempts to mine dramatic gold from the Jesus Christ-like sufferings of wolf-leader Lucian (a pay-check cashing Michael Sheen), but draws only snores and the listless eye-rolls. Seemingly shot on a single, small, under-dressed soundstage, the film is a tacky-looking, talky supernatural groaner that forsakes any attempts at creativity in favour of half-heartedly aping Spartacus, Gladiator and Braveheart. By the way: that sucking noise you hear isn’t coming from the movie’s vampires. Nope, it’s the sound of Screen Gems pictures draining every last possible cent from their insipid flat-lining franchise.

6) NINJA ASSASSIN Following the release of 2005’s sophisticated and thrilling V for Vendetta, director James McTeigue looked like a rising star to be reckoned with; a virtuoso talent with genuine action chops and a flair for epic dramatic storytelling. However, after enduring his sophomore effort Ninja Assassin, I think we may need to start re-evaluating our expectations. By attaching his once-respectable name to such an irritatingly humourless, inert martial arts pot-boiler, populated by stony one-dimensional characters engaging in drearily incomprehensible CG-addled fight scenes, McTeigue has committed what can only be described as film career seppuku.

7) STREET FIGHTER: THE LEGEND OF CHUN-LI It takes a pretty major debacle to make 1994’s Jean-Claude Van Damme-led Street Fighter: The Movie look good by comparison, but "The Legend of Chun-Li" does just that. Starring Smallville’s Kristin Kreuk as the titular Chinese(!) ass-kicker, the film pilfers most of its key scenes and crucial plot-points from Christopher Nolan’s Batman Begins, but strips them of technique and emotional resonance. Filled with unintentionally comic dialogue, robotic acting – minus Chris Klein’s side-splittingly atrocious performance as swaggering cop Charlie Nash – and wooden martial arts battles, this second Street Fighter is yet another sluggish video-game adaptation in desperate need of a creative power-up.

8) OBSESSED The biggest sin committed by this trashy hit is that it completely misunderstands the appeal of its inspiration Fatal Attraction. By removing all moral greyness and egotism from male lead Idris Elba, we’re left with a soppy victimized nonentity, devoid of complexity, guilt or inner-conflict, forced to sit impotently on the sidelines while his no-nonsense lioness wife (Beyonce Knowles) heroically saves him - through gloriously campy cat-fight fisticuffs – from sultry, 95-pound stalker Ali Larter. Director Steve Shill also eradicates all erotic charge from the lurid premise, making Obsessed feel as limp as its emasculated protagonist.

9) YEAR ONE Is there anything funnier than seeing Michael Cera and Jack Black stand listlessly around in animal-print loin clothes? Not in Year One, that’s for sure. Apparently written over a weekend by The Office scribes Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg, along with director Harold Ramis, the flick feels like an inane artefact of the early 80s; an expensive, high-concept comedicus stupidicus boasting a hard-working, but visibly mortified, cast of improv all-stars (Hank Azaria, Oliver Platt and David Cross, to name a few) frantically attempting to draw the audience’s attention away from their silly costumes. Fortunately, with this pathetic, laugh-free clinker stumbling at the box-office, any chances of Year Two occurring are completely extinct...

10) X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE Yikes, even Wolvie’s enhanced healing powers may be helpless to restore his box-office vitality after the heavy blow dealt by Origins, a clumsy not-so-superhero blockbuster-in-name-only. Costing $150 million, but boasting bargain-basement CG effects, paper-thin supporting mutants and a script comprised of plot-holes so gaping that the X-Jet could soar through them, the Clawed One’s first solo adventure was so hopelessly bungled that it’ll take more than an amnesia bullet to wipe its crappiness from movie-goers’ minds.

Dishonorable Mentions: NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM: BATTLE OF THE SMITHSONIAN, SURVEILLANCE, NEW IN TOWN, THE FINAL DESTINATION, OBSERVE AND REPORT, THE LOVELY BONES, COUPLE RETREAT.

The Best Films of 2009!

It seems somewhat crazy in retrospect, but, sitting at the tail end of last year – a period which produced some of the most noteworthy films of the decade - the approaching movie year of 2009 was awaited by many with a combination of trepidation and ambivalence. We were warned for months prior that, due to the lingering after effects of the WGA strike, there would be bombarded with a considerable amount of shoddily-written tent-poles and hastily-assembled projects green-lit solely to fulfill the economic needs of the business.
Indeed, there was definite cause for concern.

However, though there were certainly a few clumsy high-profile black marks (such as X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and Year One), 2009 proved, intriguingly, to be the anti-hype year, with the majority of the best film-going experiences thriving on the buzz of discovery, as opposed to pre-sold satisfaction. While massively-marketed blockbusters (like Terminator: Salvation and Angels and Demons) and prestige awards-bait (Nine, Invictus, The Lovely Bones and The Informant!, to name a few) disappointed, startling word-of-mouth hits such as District 9, Inglourious Basterds, Precious, Paranormal Activity and Star Trek (A project which, prior to release, seemed destined to underperform) thrilled and moved ticket-buyers the world over.

Looking over my list, I’m inspired by the staggering originality and craftsmanship of the films on it, and I treasure the unforgettable trips each and every one took me on. These ten – and the honorable mentions, of course – exemplify the intense excitement and stunning artistry of a wonderfully rich year of movie-watching; an ideal close to an often turbulent cinematic decade.

1) INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS If Death Proof occasionally felt like Quentin Tarantino spinning his wheels, this blood-spattered ode to WWII and the liberating power of cinema is like a baseball bat to the head of mainstream filmmaking; a staggeringly grand-scale-yet-intimate effort that you yearn to dismantle just so you can decipher why its disparate parts fit together so flawlessly. From gripping intro - wherein sadistic Nazi Hans Landa (the chilling Christoph Waltz) interrogates a frightened farmer - to nightmarish conclusion, Basterds hums captivatingly along like a brutal, witty, well-oiled machine. Movies this breathtaking, innovation and unique are a dearly treasured rarity, and I’m indescribably thankful to know that – sixteen years in – Tarantino still has enough fight left in him to continue to shock and awe anyone who buys a ticket.

2) THE HURT LOCKER Appearing like an oasis in a sea of bloated political polemics, The Hurt Locker succeeds triumphantly by eschewing the hot-button issues almost entirely. Rather, in drawing us into the white-knuckle day-to-day life of Ssgt. William James (Jeremy Renner in a star-making performance), an adrenaline junkie tasked with defusing bombs in war-torn Iraq, director Kathryn Bigelow adroitly provides a nail-bitingly suspenseful you-are-there experience which, true to the movie’s “War is a Drug” tagline, leaves you feeling shaken and buzzed, yet fixing for more.

3) A SERIOUS MAN Of the numerous original characters that emerged in 2009, none were quite as tragically unforgettable as Larry Gopnik (Michael Stuhlbarg), the beat-down Jewish physics professor battling to escape a suffocating hell of personal, professional and existential crises. Wearing a frazzled expression of woeful hope and, alternately, impotent dread, the bespectacled Larry’s blackly comic descent into damnation provides the bitter center to the Coen Brothers’ challenging and often deeply unsettling 60s-set absurdist odyssey. Utterly uncompromising, A Serious Man is a tantalizing cinematic enigma that attaches itself to your brain and refuses to let go. No matter how nicely you ask it.

4) UP Following in the rusty tread-marks of Wall-E, Pixar’s tenth feature-length slice of animated delight once again proved the studio to be the utmost crafters of emotionally-devastating first acts in the business, with a heart-rending, dialogue-free recap of the romantic life of Carl and Ellie Fredrickson leaving many – myself included – moist-eyed and sniffling. Luckily, Pete Docter’s Up manages to hold its course for the entire duration, shifting from thrilling adventures, to sincerity and broad comedy as buoyantly as Carl’s magnificently soaring home.

5) ADVENTURELAND Criminally under-seen during its release, writer/director Greg Mottola’s lovable amusement park coming-of-age tale deserves recognition alongside the life-affirming works of inspiration Cameron Crowe. A touching tribute to the lazy summer days and nights of low-wage employment, Adventureland, with its marvellous cast - including Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart and Ryan Reynolds - and impeccable soundtrack, lulls you into a blissful state of nostalgic joy, where even the raunchiest laughs speak to a recognizable truth. This is a movie you want to hug and treasure; a tender reminder of time gone by and of those balmy, enchanted evenings when the mysteries of the cosmos could almost be unlocked by a bright smile or an adoring gaze.

6) HARRY POTTER & THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE Silly me, I was becoming convinced that Harry Potter was beginning to run out of magic dust, following the rather lacklustre Order of the Phoenix. So it now feels pretty terrific to be eating crow, as this summer’s Half-Blood Prince proved to be the very finest of the cinematic literary adaptations. Directed with a true storyteller’s zeal by David Yates, and featuring stunning cinematography and a crackerjack performance by Jim Broadbent, the world of Hogwarts has never been as exciting, perilous or sublimely gorgeous as it is here.

7) FANTASTIC MR. FOX After a string of lukewarm disappointments, it was a dazzling, hysterical treat to witness hipster auteur Wes Anderson rediscover the beauty of his own idiosyncratic cinematic language through stop-motion technology and the sneaky, miraculous spirit of Roald Dahl. In detailing how George Clooney’s wily animal thief extraordinaire leads a trio of callous farmers on a wild goose chase, the gifted director delivers a sumptuously detailed visual banquet of a fable, replete with sharp ironic zingers, warmth and – evidenced best during a poignant encounter with a majestic lone wolf – unadulterated, entrancing wonder.

8) UP IN THE AIR Jason Reitman’s revelatory third effort – a standout in a weak year for studio-produced prestige projects - is a refreshingly adult meditation on the complexities of human connection and corporate culture. Riding confidently on the broad shoulders of George Clooney’s Ryan Bingham, a travelling professional free of personal ties, who takes on a naive protégé (Anna Kendrick) and begins a playful relationship with a similarly-spirited mystery woman (Vera Farmiga), Up in the Air expertly walks a fine line between cynism and optimism, offering plenty of truthfulness and good-natured humour. It further proves that wunderkind Reitman may just be his generation’s answer to Billy Wilder.

9) STAR TREK Jubilantly breaking free from forty years of suffocating continuity, J.J. Abrams whizz-bang reboot of Gene Roddenberry’s iconic science-fiction universe is a truly astonishing sight to behold. Soaring higher than it has in eons, this Enterprise – now staffed by a brilliantly cast new crew of space voyagers, led by the ultra-charismatic Chris Pine – takes audiences on an exhilarating and massively entertaining flight into the heart of popcorn blockbuster nirvana. Now, with a rejuvenated life-force and infinite opportunities ahead, Star Trek’s future has never been brighter.

10) DRAG ME TO HELL Francois Truffaut’s oft-quoted statement on the filmic medium was that “cinema should express either the joy of making cinema or the anguish of making cinema”. Well sir, Sam Raimi’s return to the spook-a-blast genre of his youth falls, goofy and grinning ear-to-ear, into the former; a slime-soaked tribute to the gloriously bonkers world of gypsy curses, moonlit séances and cackling possessed farm-stock. Aided by on-screen co-conspirator Alison Lohman - a good sport if ever there was one – the director unleashes one of the decade’s greatest fright-fest extravaganzas, a goofball exploration of the macabre that delivers jack-in-the-box scares with irresistibly impish glee.

Honorable Mentions: BROTHERS, (500) DAYS OF SUMMER, MOON, THE BAD LIEUTENANT: PORT OF CALL NEW ORLEANS, PRECIOUS, WATCHMEN, SUMMER HOURS (L'heure d'été), AN EDUCATION, THE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE, PUBLIC ENEMIES.

Film Review - YOUTH IN REVOLT

Michael Cera was born to play a character named Nick Twisp. With his unabashedly earnest demeanour, dark, frightened rabbit eyes and graceless, lanky frame - which frequently seems to be trying to burrow within itself – the star has shown a masterful knack for portraying sheltered, neurotic adolescents longing to break out of their awkward shells, but lacking the resolve to overcome their own self-imposed strict moral and emotional boundaries. It’s a winning schtick that has served him very, very well, in comedies ranging from terrific (Superbad, Juno, TV’s Arrested Development) to unbearable (Year One, Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist), and more or less carries Youth in Revolt, a reasonably entertaining adaptation of C.D. Payne’s absurdist novel.

When we first meet Youth’s put-upon protagonist, he’s a sensitive, V-card carrying soul, enamoured with Frank Sinatra music and art-house cinema, living in an insufferable household presided over by his strumpet mother Estelle (Jean Smart) and her pathological liar boyfriend Jerry (Zach Galifianakis). Invisible to his female classmates, forlorn Nick finds his life fortuitously turned upside-down when, during an abrupt family lake-side vacation, he meets the beautiful Sheeni Saunders (Portia Doubleday – walking the thin line between innocent and erotic as tantalizingly as if starring in a Lolita remake), a fellow frustrated teen desperate for companionship. However, when the Twisp clan decides to return home, placing the two not-quite-lovers’ union on excruciating hold, the dejected Nick devises a labyrinthine scheme to reunite with the object of his unbridled infatuation.

Inspired by the flamboyant bad boys of new wave cinema, our wishy-washy hero creates a moustachioed nogoodnik alter ego dubbed Francois Dillinger (who alternately looks to have escaped from the Beastie Boys’ “Sabotage” video), a foul-mouthed anarchist bent on destruction and manipulation in the name of sexual conquest. After one of the doppelganger’s chaotic acts results in arson, Nick, a wanted man, retreats back to his vacation destination, underachieving father George (the oh-so invaluable Steve Buscemi) and 25-year-old trophy girlfriend Lacey (Ari Graynor) in tow, with the intent of continuing his romance with Sheeni – a plan which promptly crumbles when he discovers that she has been sent away to boarding school. So, with Francois once more off-the-leash and running wild, Nick sets out on a single-minded quest to win Sheeni’s hand anew, regardless of laws and consequences.

This feverishly hormonal split-personality odyssey gives Youth in Revolt its novel spark. Although Cera can still effortlessly draw laughs by gawkily muttering verbose non sequitors or attempting to save face when any chance for preserving dignity is long past, his bold portrayal of Francois reveals previously unwitnessed dimensions to the actor. Hiding behind an ever-present cigarette, blue contacts, and tight-fighting wardrobe, and speaking in an octave or two lower than his usual gentle pitch, Cera projects a convincingly monstrous id; a hilariously comedic study in unflappable self-assurance in the face of conscience, logic and reason. He’s a fun creation – one the film would have been better-served utilizing more of – and, when contrasted against wimpy Nick Twisp, there’s genuinely sharp chemistry. It’s one of the better examples of an actor playing duelling roles in recent memory.

It’s too bad that the movie, directed by Miguel Arteta, isn’t working on the same elevated level. Despite being only 90 minutes long, Youth in Revolt’s pace has an unfortunate tendency to flag during the increasingly scattered, overly wacky latter sections. This problem is an inherent flaw in the script by Gustin Nash, which, in attempting to distil Payne’s 500+ page book, often short-changes characters, such as Jade Fusco’s Bernice Lynch, Buscemi’s Twisp Senior and Graynor’s impulsive Lacey, who feel set up for far more than they ultimately pay off. Most grating, though, are the prominent animated segments that, besides not being remotely amusing, feel precious and obnoxious; a thin attempt at drawing in the hipster crowd.

Luckily, even with the obvious under-writing and condensing, the film’s star-packed cast often matches Cera’s strong work, and help to ease out the narrative bumps and diversions. Adhir Kalyan, playing Nick’s new high school friend, almost steals the show entirely during a road-trip section – easily the flick’s strongest detour - where the duo crashes Sheeni’s French-Only boarding school. Equally effective, in smaller roles, are Ray Liotta as a cop with lusty eyes for Mrs. Twisp and Fred Willard, who earns the film’s single biggest laugh, as a nutty, uber-liberal neighbour.

Youth in Revolt is a fairly typical January release; an amiable and breezy watch, with some enjoyable turns, which will probably play better on a lazy night in front of the idiot box than in the multiplex. Although the movie is loaded with the expected sexual innuendos and vulgar language, the tone feels too safe and restrained, reluctant to truly explore the darker avenues that its hero recklessly wanders down. Frankly, I wish Arteta had spent less time trying to emulate genial ol’ Nick and more time embracing his own inner-Francois. 

3 out of 5

*Originally printed in SFU's The Peak: Jan 18th, 2010.

Epi-Cast: Episode 21 - "(Listen to the) Blue Cat People"

Bah, they say 3-D technology is the future of entertainment. We say bull-pucky! Can 3-D offer you up to 90 minutes of lobe-pleasing film discussion with just a hint of madness? The type of discourse that opens up a metaphorical tin of new movies, peeks inside and then rambles on about the contents until the cows come home? I think not. Face it bunky, the Epi-Cast IS entertainment, and nothing will ever be able to change that.

...Other than a strategically placed bomb.

...Or a crashed hard-drive...

Epi-Cast: Episode 21 - "(Listen to the) Blue Cat People"

Cam and Tom ring in 2010 - the year we make contact - in fitting style, putting on dorky glasses and determining whether James Cameron's Avatar is the greatest film to ever grace the screen (Hint: not even close!). They also momentarily turn away from the flash and bang to contemplate just how good Jason Reitman's latest, Up in the Air, is (Hint: Very!). As well, Cam tosses his thoughts on Sherlock Holmes, Nine and The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus into the black void of the internet while Tom battles to maintain his stoic composure while kicking around Terminator: Salvation and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Plus, as a very special treat, the dunce-tastic duo name their five favourite films of the recently passed decade (Hint: Unpredictability abounds!). So strap on your hover-board, pop your mp3 player into the direct feed link behind your right ear and enjoy the hilarity!

To download, simply right-click and save on the green episode title above. Then you are free to indulge in one of the interweb's very finest wonders.

P.S. We are also available on iTunes! We kid you not! Simply do a store search for "Epi-Cast" and, OINGO-BOINGO!, you can subscribe to our feed and receive insta-dl's (Net speak for downloads). Oh, and we are the "Epi-Cast", not the "Epicast". Avoid those pretentious fools like a pack of flesh-consuming grackels.

Film Review - THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG

It has been more than 20 years since Walt Disney Pictures released The Little Mermaid to rapturous universal acclaim and wide-eyed, astonished wonder. That film, a sumptuous, lovingly-crafted visual banquet, arrived at a precarious time in the studio’s history — at the tail end of a creatively bloodless string of derivative carbon-copy features (Oliver and Company, The Fox and the Hound and The Great Mouse Detective) and flat-out disasters (The Black Cauldron) — and brilliantly re-imagined the seemingly antiquated tropes and archetypes of the Uncle Walt’s Golden Age heyday, making them exciting and fresh once again.

Dazzled viewers found themselves swept away on a bracing fantastical journey into the pixie-dust tinged childhood dreams of yesteryear, a treasured time when richly-illustrated enchanted creatures loomed large and powerful in their impressionable imaginations.

Unfortunately, despite providing Disney’s talented parade of animators and storytellers with a rejuvenated artistic spark — resulting in modern classics such as The Lion King and Beauty and the Beast — the rapidly approaching brave new world of the 21st Century proved mercilessly unkind to the studio. With 1996’s dawn of the full-length CG-feature, in Pixar’s Toy Story, the established Mouse House brand began to fall by the wayside, a victim of rising production costs and escalating audience apathy. By the time the cow-toon Home of the Range limped dismally into the marketplace and collapsed in an exhausted, clumsy heap, the grim writing was all over the wall; that classical hand-drawn Disney motion pictures were fast going the way of Bambi’s ill-fated, tragic mommy.

Now, five years later, the studio has regrouped and embraced their innate mastery for lush, 2D animation anew with The Princess and the Frog, an ambitiously-conceived attempt to replicate the Mermaid effect and lovingly crawl back into the warm, nurturing confines of the ticket-buying public’s nostalgic hearts. However, whereas the former film added a sophisticated edge and more epic sense of adventure to the time-worn formula, The Princess and the Frog too often feels inert and insubstantial; a blandly pleasant family-friendly bedtime story that’s far too similar to the many, many told before.

Set in Jazz Age-era New Orleans, opens on Tiana (voiced as a child by Elizabeth M. Dampier), an idealistic young African-American girl, whose mother works as a seamstress for the impossibly wealthy “Big Daddy” La Bouff (John Goodman), a big-hearted buffoon who dotes endlessly upon his spoiled blonde southern belle daughter — and our protagonist’s closest confidante — Charlotte (voiced as a child by Breanna Brooks and, as an adult by Jennifer Cody). Returning to her modest home after an evening spent enraptured in fairytales with her bubbly friend, Tianna wishes upon the North Star that one day her beloved father (Terrence Howard) and she will be able to open their own homey Cajun-style restaurant.

The film then flashes forward roughly 10 years, and Tianna (now voiced by Anika Noni Rose) is a beautiful and tirelessly hard-working waitress, slowly saving her tips with the hopes of achieving her now-deceased dad’s dream, and too busy for romantic adventures – despite the recent arrival of the dreamy, but irresponsible, Prince Naveen (Bruno Campos). Nevertheless, after the sinister “Shadowman” Dr. Facilier (voiced by Keith David, and resembling the menacing lovechild of John Waters and Little Richard) transforms the goofy Prince into a frog in a bid for power and wealth, Naveen finds himself brought into contact with the impatient young princess-to-be during an moonlit gala at the La Bouff residence, wherein she is inadvertently also converted into a croaking, amphibious state. On the run from Facilier, and in search of a cure, the two hopping heroes escape into the swamps, encountering new friends and foe alike, and slowly growing to realize that their hostility towards one other may be masking something far, far deeper and tenderer.

As a template for an animated fable, there’s nothing wrong with the set-up for The Princess and the Frog. Tianna comfortably follows in the well-worn glass slippers of many of Disney’s more recent headstrong, independent-minded heroines; doe-eyed and graceful, but containing enough of a sarcastic edge to make her an engaging and relatable presence. She makes a good sparring partner for Naveen, who is forced to make the most significant personal changes over the course of the film.

If only writing/directing duo Ron Clements and John Musker — the masterminds behind The Little Mermaid, along with Aladdin, Hercules and Treasure Planet — had mined this winning relationship for more than biting quips, snark and a painfully musty romantic reveal. Even more frustrating is that the two bickering prospective lovers are quickly overwhelmed by a succession of goofy and broad supporting characters, including Louis the trumpet-playing Alligator (Michael-Leon Wooley), old voodoo priestess Mama Odie (Jenifer Lewis) and the Cajun firefly Ray (Jim Cummings), who are all cut from the same cloth as Timon and Pumbaa, Sebastian, Genie, et al., but poorly thought-out, flat and tiresome — like bland escapees from one of Disney’s lesser by-the-numbers efforts — and only serve to instigate dull action beats and witless comedy.

Heck, even the wonderfully creepy villain Facilier — who has a nice unsettling song number, a great vocal performance from David and a superbly wicked and intimidating design — is given little motivation or much to do beyond commit evil for evil’s sake. Compared to hiss-able baddies like Scar, Cruella Deville or Ursula, we never feel the true extent of his menace and his final comeuppance, while appropriately spine-chilling and iconic, feels too extravagant and harsh for an under-developed character we’ve spent so little time with.

And therein lies one of The Princess and the Frog’s biggest weaknesses: it never feels like the filmmakers were able to figure out how to make the film feel remotely involving or original. Certainly, Disney animated features follow a fairly strict story structure, but the best of the studio’s output found thrillingly novel ways of reinterpreting and expanding upon the recognized conventions. This flick hits all the expected beats (Minus one key death that earns a glimmer of emotion, but would be a true powerhouse moment in a more confident work), offers few surprises and is often sluggish and trite. Even the majority of the Jazz-infused Randy Newman-penned songs are instantly forgettable and, as they come fast and often, gradually drag down the movie’s energy level. Only the villain’s aforementioned solo and a fairly rousing, gorgeously-staged number in Mama Odie’s shack come close to quickening the viewer’s pulse.

Although it will doubtlessly entertain really young children, the whole project feels like a stale leftover from the latter days of Disney’s more luminous era, relying solely on the studio’s characteristically striking visual artistry to breathe life into its dusty lungs. At an earlier point in time, The Princess and the Frog would probably be able to skate affably by on its generic colorful sights and brand-value alone. But as a flagship vehicle for the intended relaunching of a historically-important, treasured cinematic art-form, it’s a major disappointment; a film content to halfheartedly hop for an audience yearning to soar.

2.5 out of 5

Epi-Cast: Episode 20 - "Uncaged Road Warriors"

The world may split and fracture into a splintering mass of shattered rock and twisted steel. The seas may run wild and violent, sweeping life as we know it into the bleak, all-emcompasing void of the deep. Our homes and towns may burn in an endless inferno of crackling flames, red-hot cinders and falling ash. But, no matter what, there will always be a new Epi-Cast just around the corner. Take what comfort from that you will.

Epi-Cast: Episode 20 - "Uncaged Road Warriors"

Tired of reviewing up-lifting films, Cam and Tom dye their hair black, put on matching eye-liner and wallow in the misery of the film adapation of Cormac McCarthy's The Road. After that, they reeeeaaally crawl into the muck, Fallout Boy blasting, with Nic Cage's Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans. As well, Cam pummels the living crap out of Ninja Assassin and half-heartedly snickers over The Twilight Saga: New Moon (TEAM JACOB! WHOOOOO!), before the two review a gaggle of trailers including the Clash of the Titans remake, Matthew Vaughn's Kick-Ass, the Nic Cage (Theme!) summer family epic The Sorcerer's Apprentice and the destined-for-Oscar-gold Crazy Heart. It's a rollicking good 90 minutes to listen to while you and all you hold dear dance helplessly into the waiting arms of grim, grim, apocalyptic death! Oh, and it's funny! (Tee-hee!)

P.S. We are also available on tha iTunes! No guff! Simply do a store search for "Epi-Cast" and, LANDO-LOBOT!, you can subscribe to our feed and receive insta-dl's (Net speak for downloads). Oh, and we are the "Epi-Cast", not the "Epicast". Avoid those pretentious clowns like teh aids.

About That DEADPOOL Spin-Off...

Remember when the prospect of a “Deadpool” spinoff movie felt like a fun idea?

That was before April’s super-zero non-event “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” belly-flopped into theatres, figuratively treating the character like Ned Beatty in “Deliverance” and violating him like a parking meter.

Recall, if you will, those sun-streaked, carefree days of yore, when rosy-cheeked, cheery-eyed fans frolicked gaily amongst the spinner racks, lovingly cradling armfuls of crisp, glossy tales featuring a certain jumpsuit-clad soldier-for-hire, blissfully oblivious that a grim, pitiless future would reward their buoyant spirits and dedication with only sewn-up mouths, impractical arm-blades and laser eyes?

To read the rest of this article, visit: http://itsjustmovies.com/about-that-deadpool-spinoff/