TRANSFORMERS: Weaving A Tapestry Of Anticipation

Hey y'all. Well, it's gonna be a bit quiet here for the next week and a half. I'm nearing the end of my semester and the papers are piling up. So, today's entry is a short one.

The Transformers movie is something of a mild curiosity for me. I wasn't a huge fan of them in the 80's. But take me out of the equation and people are going mental for this movie. This, for them, is the defining film that will complete any unfinished business left from childhood. Me, I just hope it doesn't suck. I'm a bit weary of director Michael Bay still too. I actually liked The Island, and The Rock is one of my faves, but I'm concerned this one will fall into the Armageddon/Bad Boys II category or noisy, flashy garbage.

I must say I was intrigued the other day when it was announced that Hugo Weaving (Agent Smith in The Matrix trilogy, V in V For Vendetta) would be voicing arch nemesis Megatron. I had assumed that they would just get the guy who voiced the cartoon show. This decision has upset some of the purists obviously, but I'm pretty indifferent. Weaving has a great voice that really has an amazing unsettling quality. I still think his voicing of the line "Mr. Anderson..." is one of the greats.

So, feel free to throw hate mail my way over my approval of this choice. Frankly, with a cast as bland as Transformers (Shia Labeouf, Jon Voight, Tyrese), I'll take any unconventional choices they make. Oh, how I hope this isn't a 2 and a half hour migraine... ___________________________________________________________________

The other big casting news of the week in the new Indiana Jones IV addition. I mentioned Cate Blanchett's addition a while back, and now we have another ace character actor joining up. It was announced on Tuesday that Ray Winstone would be playing a new ally to Harrison Ford's Indiana Jones.

Now, Ray Winstone (Pictured) may not set off alarms of excitement for you. In fact, I'm guessing a fair amount of you have no idea who the bloke is. Well, his most famous recent role was as Mr. French in The Departed. He was Jack Nicholson's number one guy. He also popped up in Cold Mountain and King Arthur. I've also just been informed that he voiced Mr. Beaver in The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe. Well, whaddya know. Personally, my favorite performance of his was as the retired mobster terrorized by Ben Kinsley in Sexy Beast. Check it out if you haven't seen it.

I really like this choice. I'm pleased that Spielberg and Lucas are filling out the roles with character actors as opposed to superstars. Though, I suppose that's always been the way with these films. Regardless, I'm brightening up to this one. Just stay away from the CG, Lucas!

Okay, gotta get back to the term papers!

Later!

SPIDEY Watch: The Final Frontier

Well guys, this is the last of it. Today Sony released the final trailer for Spider-Man 3 and it's the big enchalada. Venom is now officially released to the world and the movie is just a little over a month away. It's sort of bittersweet in a way. The speculation and little details make a film like this all the more exciting. Now the film will live or die on its quality as opposed to its hype.

So, I'll just say that I've had a lot of fun following the progress of this one. Hopefully, you have to. So, until my review gets posted (Hopefully on May 5th), this is about the last of Spider-Man 3 you'll be seeing in detail here at Pop-Culture Episodes.

I'm swamped with school work right now and don't want to bog this whole thing down in another thousand word extravaganza. So, sit back and enjoy the trailer: http://www.spiderman3oncomcast.com/.


See ya in "BAT Watch".

-Cam



P.S.: That Heath Ledger poster is a fan-made thing. I just thought it looked nifty.

Jet Li All Wrapped Up In THE MUMMY 3?

Gracias! Well, unfortunately my review of Shooter is non-existent. We arrived at the theatre the other night, free passes in tow, to be told that the theatre was full. Seems they handed out buttloads of free passes and we were screwed... Even though my friend Tom won them on a radio station giveaway. So, don't blame me! Blame the nitwits at Tinseltown Cinemas! Instead, out of boredom, we went to the Joel Schumacher directed (Never a good sign) Jim Carrey "thriller" The Number 23... I'm not going to do a review but suffice to say it is the biggest load of crap to be deposited in theatres so far this year. Avoid at all costs! Yuck. So, that tragedy aside, lets focus on some news brewing down in ol' Hollywood town about a franchise that we'd almost forgotten about.

In case you hadn't heard, the big news of today was posted on a few sites (but specifically Rotten Tomatoes) (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/news/comments/?entryid=40903939) and it's... Meh. Universal, in all their collective wisdom, have decided to film another entry in the exceedingly vanilla Mummy franchise. You probably remember them vaguely: Lots of sand, a bunch of hokey CG, the dude from Encino Man, and wasn't The Rock playing a lobster or something in one of them? Well, the answer is yes to all of that and so... little more.

The first one, directed by hack extraordinaire Stephen Sommers) starred Brendan Fraser (The Encino Man in question), Rachel Weisz (Now an Oscar winner for The Constant Gardener), Arnold Vosloo (Darkman II &III), Oded Fehr (Resident Evil: Apocalypse, TV's Sleeper Cell), and John Hannah (JOHN HANNAH, ladies and gentlemen...). It featured a bunch of goofy mumbo jumbo about the evil Mummy Imhotep doing evil mischief and, consequently, kidnapping Brendan Fraser's son. The second one (Also "directed" by Sommers) was pretty much the same except The Rock (very briefly) showed up as the Scorpion King and did cheesy battle with our heroes. Finally, the Scorpion King showed up in his own self-titled spin-off (Produced by Sommers, directed by Chuck Russell) where the cheesiness continued in hopelessly clunky dialogue and battle scenes ripped from Conan The Barbarian.

Now, I saw all three of these films in theatres. Why? Because I'm a sucker, that's why. The first one was a weak, disposable Indiana Jones knock-off that I'd forgotten by the time the credits rolled. Perhaps it was this amnesia that led me stumbling into The Mummy Returns. I actually thought it was kinda fun. It was dumb as a pile of rocks but it had a certain charm that made me smile at its inanity. It was good for a laugh. That mild (very mild) affection is probably what drew me to The Scorpion King. Like Returns, it was hokey and stupid and kinda fun. Instantly forgettable, but enjoyable.

Well, the franchise went dormant after Scorpion King failed to match the success of its predecessors. Audiences didn't really notice, and the cast, for the most part, went on to better things (John Hannah is presumed missing and if anyone finds him please notify his agent.). Stephen Sommers moved on to the soulless abomination Van Helsing, continuing to bore audiences with his unique brand of talentless monkey-direction. For the most part it was as if the whole thing had only been a really vague dream...

But the news today was a wakeup call. The franchise is now in the hands of uber-clown Rob Cohen (XXX, Stealth, that upcoming Bruce Lee movie I wrote about a while back! - Pictured), and they have announced their villain. Well, since I killed all suspense with the title of today's entry, let's just state the obvious. Jet Li is now contractually obligated to be seen in this film. So, whether he's the Mummy remains to be seen. Perhaps a kung-fu Mummy would be the next obvious step for this franchise to go in...

From what I have bothered to read, the new film is set a fair number of years after the events so wondrously chronicled in The Mummy Returns. This time, Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz's son is now all grown up and ready to kick some Mummy tail. So young... uh... Billy (I made that up), with mumsy and dadsy along for the ride, will do epic battle with the undead Ninja Mummy. I don't know about you, but I'm thrilled... beyond... belief... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I swear Hollywood doesn't learn their lessons well! ("Really?", you say.) This one has all the makings of a big 'ol flop. It reminds me of when they made that sequel to Tomb Raider even though no one liked the first one and it (Surprise!) fizzled. And attaching Rob Cohen to it doesn't help matters. This guy is a magnet for box-office duds lately... Possibly because he lacks the subtlety of even Michael Bay. The only way I can see this franchise thriving is under a director with a serious creative vision for it. I'm talking total reinvention. Start from square one and bring in a whole new cast of characters (And no villains with dumb names like Imhotep).

I'm not slagging Jet Li (Pictured) or nothing either. I thought he was really good in Unleashed, and I still consider Kiss Of The Dragon to be an underrated gem. I want nothing more than for this guy to get some good material (Like I feel about Chow Yun-Fat) and really break through to the mainstream (With something better than The One or Cradle 2 The Grave that is...). That Kato role in the now-in-development Green Hornet sounds promising... As it stands though, I have a feeling Jet will be the only real reason to see The Mummy 3. That and to see if they throw some work John Hannah's way. John Hannah gotta eat!

___________________________________________________________________

This next bit sounds like a really, really cool project (In fact, probably more deserving of the A-story slot Mummy 3 got...). Director Bryan Singer (Usual Suspects, X-Men, X2, Superman Returns - Pictured) is teaming up with everyone's favorite punching bag Tom Cruise to film a yet-to-be titled epic WWII adventure about a mission to assassinate Hitler! The film's been scripted by Nathan Alexander, Singer and his Usual Suspects co-writer Christopher McQuarrie. The project is off and running already, scheduled to film this summer (So as to not interrupt Singer's Superman sequel).

Me, I'm a sucker for anything WWII. Whether its Saving Private Ryan, Flags Of Our Fathers, Dirty Dozen, U-571, Great Escape, Bridge Too Far, or even Pearl Harbor (I know, I know...), I can't get enough. And with a pedigree like this it almost makes me forget about Tarantino's frequently stalled WWII adventure Inglorious Bastards. Either way, I'll be there when this one hits theatres. Singer has yet to falter in my eyes, and Tom Cruise, love him or hate him, always give these types of movies his all. Last Samurai was a testament to that.


So, sorry folks about the lack of Mark Wahlberg in today's post. But c'mon, The Mummy 3! Eh? Eh? Bah, see ya next time you ingrates!

Just kidding. Please come back!

Yargh! A Trailer Full Of PIRATES Off The Port Bow!

Greetings my disciples. Trust your weekend was most excellent. Well, I'm back with another blithering blog entry. Today we're going to take a little journey to... The World's End. And by that I'm referring to the third and final (?) entry in the stunningly successful Pirates Of The Caribbean franchise, At World's End. The marketing blitz hit a high point today with the release of the newest trailer, and it is a doozy. You all can see it pretty much anywhere on the internet right now (www.ew.com, www.aintitcool.com, www.mania.com, www.alongcamequilting.com...), and I recommend you do before plowing onwards into the mountain of minutiae that is today's entry.

Now, when last we left the series, with last summer's Dead Man's Chest, things were looking pretty grim. Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) had been devoured by the giant squid monster ruled by Davy Jones (Bill Nighy - Pictured), Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) were going through a rough patch, Norrington (Jack Davenport) had taken off with Jones' heart, and poor Bootstrap Bill (Stellan Skarsgard) seemed doomed to eternal damnation. Then, they announced that Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) was back and would be taking command of The Black Pearl. Why, it was all too much drama for a person to take!

Finally, on May 25th we will have all our questions answered and hopefully all the threads will be tied into a neat little package. Or it could end like The Matrix: Revolutions. Annoyed confusion leading to pouting and emotional hysteria. I have faith, however, that this one will work due to the quality of Dead Man's Chest.

"Hold up!" you're thinking! "That movie was a big ol' let-down!" Yes, many people felt that the second entry was a less than successful follow-up... But I'm not one of them! HA! After an admittedly bumpy first act I thought the story really took flight. I thought that Davy Jones was a truly wonderful (and potentially classic) villain who was far more interesting than Barbossa from the first film. I also liked that the filmmakers trusted the audience to jump into the story without unnecessary exposition reminding us what happened in the first film. I thought every one of the comic set-pieces worked nicely, and the action moments were equal to, if not superior to those which came before. The actors really fell back into the characters nicely and really worked to develop them as opposed to just running in place. I also felt that returning director Gore Verbinski perfectly matched the tone of the first film, while setting the bar even higher. Hell, I even thought that the cliffhanger ending worked out really well, and I hate abrupt endings (Yes, Matrix Reloaded, I'm talking to you!)Plus, the kraken was just plain cool.

Even if you think I'm completely wrong and that everything I just typed is moronic you
do have to admit this: That trailer looks pretty cool. Everything from the clever comedic bits to the epic scenes of pirate ships nearing waterfalls, spinning around whirlpools, etc. have been handled with real flair. I'm particularly pleased with the shots of Depp battling Davy Jones on the ship's... er... mast? No, I don't think it's a mast... Damn I really am bad with nautical terms... Well, whatever, it looked awesome. I'm also really wild about the whole idea of having pirates from all over the world converging into a battle of momentous proportions. With a series like this the ending has to be huge. Throw in everything and the kitchen sink. Yargh...

I'm also pleased to see Chow Yun-Fat in an American film role that may actually be memorable. After truly horrific films like Bulletproof Monk and The Corruptor I had lost faith that Yun-Fat would ever get any really good material in fickle western cinema. I mean, come on, this guy was amazing in Hard Boiled! He deserves A-quality material for that film alone! Well, regardless, it looks like he's got a good part here, as the pirate Captain Sao Feng (Pictured).

I do have to mention, though, that I hope this is the last film of the series. The Disney honchos have hinted at multiple more installments (And after the 400 million plus gross of Dead Man's Chest who can blame them), while Verbinski and assorted cast have said "NAY!". I'd like this one to end up as a trilogy. For once let a film series end before it slowly dies from overexposure and familiarity. Only time, and The World's End's profits, will tell.

Anyways, consider me psyched. This is the film I'm most looking forward to this summer... After Spider-Man 3 and Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer that is. I'm still a little confused about how Barbossa came back to life but I'm sure a perceptive 8 year old could answer that question. So, see you on May 25th when the goons from Disney order us from our homes to see this film. Disney don't play around when it comes to aggressive marketing... Yargh.
___________________________________________________________________
Well, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. It was announced the other day that, due to its staggering success, a sequel to 300 was in the planning stages. Perhaps I'm being overly cynical. If there's one thing Hollywood cares about it's quality over anything else. And if you believe that then I've got some magic beans for sale.

My hopes are lifted, however, by the news that Frank Miller (Pictured... On the right), the artist/writer who created the graphic novel 300, as well as Sin City, Dark Knight Returns, etc., is going to be a key figure in putting the follow-up together. While the details are vague at best (I'm unclear whether Miller will make a graphic novel that will then be adapted, or simply work on a script and visual ideas), it appears that the next film will be based on another classic Greek story. Perhaps the eternal fire or something. Regardless, while I mock creating a sequel to films such as this simply for the sake of profit, I'll remain cautiously optimistic about this one. When they announce director Zack Snyder's involvement I'll be less cautious.


Well, there you all go.
I'll be back soon with another fun-filled, time-wasting, zip-trippin' entry!

See ya then. Yargh.

2008... Another Great ESCAPE???

Hey neighbors! Well, first off I have to say that I'm totally amazed at how much of a spike I get on my site counter whenever I post something about Venom or Spider-Man 3. I suppose it's a hint at just how much people are looking forward to that flick. Well, today there isn't any Spider-Man stuff. Nope, rather I'm gonna invite you to jump in my trusty DeLorean time machine and take a little journey back to the age of excess, the 80's. It was a glorious time. Arnold ruled the world with his preposterous brand of action movies, the nerds showed those punks at Alpha Beta frat what real "coolness" is, and a strange man named John Carpenter introduced us to an even stranger man named... Snake Plissken.

Now, I'm sure a few of you (the younger ones) are scratching your heads right now. See, Snake was a man who could never quite get a break. A man who spoke through actions rather than words. He was also... Kurt Russell! In an eye patch! Warning everyone not to @!#% with him! The film was Escape From New York and it was a brilliant concept. See, the future of 1997 is a post-apocalyptic war-zone (God I love that term!) and a bunch of no-good punks kidnap the president (Donald Pleasance) after his plane crashes on the penal colony of Manhattan. Yep, that's right! Manhattan is now a veritable stew of the criminal and the psychopathic. The government implant former soldier turned bank robber Snake with an explosive device timed to go off in 22 hours and drop him in Manhattan. He then has 22 hours to find the president, ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, and return to safety, where the device will be deactivated.

Now, I suppose most of you are telling yourselves: "Yes, I'm aware of this! Why are you wasting my time telling me about a movie I saw 26 years ago?" Well, because next year you'll be seeing it again! Only this time it won't be a grungy low-budget film. Nope, this time they're starting from scratch with a big budget and a rising new action star named... Gerard Butler (He of 300 - Pictured)!

WHAT? Gerard Butler ain't Snake Plissken! Only Kurt Russell can play his royal Badness! Yes, I know. But hear me out and keep an open mind. We may just have a potential diamond in the rough here.

Now, I don't know how many of you have watched Escape From New York lately, but it has not held up well. While they may have terrified the world in their hey-day, the punk rocker villains of the film don't exactly inspire fear in the hearts of modern viewers. Rather, they inspire laughter. Unfortunately the age of irony has taken this once pure, visceral film and relegated it to the land of 80's cheese. I know Isaac Hayes as the Duke of New York (Pictured) was hardcore, but many don't agree anymore. And I feel Plissken deserves another chance to shine (Outside of the less than spectacular 1995 follow-up Escape From L.A.).

When it was announced today that New Line had snatched up the Butler remake rights I was optimistic. I usually despise remakes, but this one has real promise. Why? Well, the character of Snake Plissken is classic, on par with Clint Eastwood's "Man With No Name" from the Dollars trilogy. And while Russell will always be Plissken, I feel Gerard Butler will do the character serious justice. Having seen 300, I think that this guy has the stuff to really bring back the type of gruff, no-nonsense, menacing qualities that have long been forgotten in this age of dull action heroes.

I also think that this film's look could seriously be improved with some modern set design ideas and cinematography. John Carpenter, God bless his crazy soul, was never a particularly gifted director when it came to visual novelty. My hope is that they get a bright new director who completely grabs hold of this project and runs with it as far as they can. I want someone with new ideas to completely redefine what this world is and how we can view it. Basically, I'm hoping for a complete reimagining of the world as opposed to a lifeless retread.

So join me in my optimism and let's hope that they get this one right! This is a great concept that deserves the attention of a new generation of film-goers. Plus, if nothing else, it may just inspire them to revisit the original film. And frankly, I can't think of anything wrong with that. ___________________________________________________________________

Now, my B-story today is the A-story of every entertainment news pundit out there right now. Casting has finally begun in the long gestating yet-untitled Indiana Jones IV. While we were bombarded with news that young Shia LaBeouf (Constantine, the upcoming Transformers) would play Indy's son (which is still unconfirmed and looking like more of false rumor), there was a neat little casting decision being finalized. That of the film's female lead...

Well, it was announced last night that the very talented Cate Blanchett (Babel, Notes From A Scandal, The Aviator - Pictured) would be tackling the role. Now, details on the project are so heavily guarded that there is nothing to really say regarding her role in the film. At this point in time it is unknown whether she'll be playing a friend or foe...

Regardless, Blanchett is a great choice to have aboard. She's a proven A-level talent that will bring a lot to this troubling project. While I have yet to wave the flag of enthusiasm for this one, I'm intrigued none-the-less. I just hope that the final product matches the tone of the previous three. Only time will tell. Stay tuned, more Indy IV casting decisions will likely be coming down the pipeline in the very near future.


Okay folks, that's all for me today. Have a great weekend, and if you have some time go out and rent the original Escape From New York if you haven't seen it. It's worth a visit.

I'll be back sometime next week, hopefully with my best of list. It's a work in progress.

-Cam

SPIDEY Watch: Venom Returns!

Ola' guys. Just gonna drop a couple quick facts on ya that I've been alerted to. As you all know, I've had a lot of fun keeping up on developments with the character of Venom is Spider-Man 3. Duh, I know. But, it's been a hoot and I can't wait for the Batman Watch: Joker tangents I'll be going on about in the near future. So, since this isn't gonna be a great big essay (Yesterday's 300 review took a lot outta me I suppose.) let's get to it!

Tonight Sony posted up some new photos on their Spider-Man 3 website. These photos gave us plenty of generic shots: Peter Parker in Spider-Man body suit showing concern, Harry looking bitter, Kirsten Dunst appearing forlorn, Sandman being angry, Bryce Dallas Howard (Pictured) as Gwen Stacy looking hot, etc, etc. Well, they tossed in a couple that give us some details regarding our favorite symbiotic psychopath Venom.

The first shot shows a meteor coming to earth near Parker's moped. This is obviously a hint regarding the explanation for the symbiote's (aka the black alien suit)entrance. Wisely scrapping its original origin (For a long breakdown see my other Spidey 3 write-ups) and instead reworking the Spider-Man: Animated Series entrance. Only they've rid of the whole symbiote stowing away on John Jamieson's space shuttle mumbo-jumbo. I tells ya, I like this simplified version and think it's save the film unnecessary exposition. So hear hear Raimi! You've maneuvered through the gauntlet of absurd Venom origins and found a good compromise.

The next shot is the real kicker though. Here's a shot of Venom in the background choking Spidey with his alien webbing. This shot will lead into the final shot of the current trailer, with Peter reaching out for help. From who? My guess is Harry. So there ya go, kids! More Venom! I can't recall the last time there was so much uproar over a film villain... I don't recall this much insanity over Scarecrow in Batman Begins, Dr. Doom in Fantastic Four, or Blackheart in Ghost Rider (HA!). Even the hype surrounding Silver Surfer in this summer's Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer has been positively placid. Oh well, I guess we'll just have to wait till the first shot of The Dark Knight's Heath Ledger as Joker leaks and it will be pandemonium all over again. And I'll be here. Rejoicing like the geek my sister tells me I am. ___________________________________________________________________

Speaking of The Dark Knight, there's been a swirl of activity around that film this last week also. As you may or not know, Katie Holmes declined to reprise her role as Rachel Dawes. Seems she'll be too busy filming a comedy with Queen Latifah. Yeah... (I'm not gonna waste your time or mine by making snide comments regarding Tom Cruise or whatever. Those bottom-feeders over at Pink Is The New Blog can take that route... add nauseum.) At any rate, the machine must roll on and so the role has been recast. And it has gone to none other than...

Maggie Gyllenhaal. Yeah, I know. This is hardly "Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent" exciting, but it's something. Frankly I wish they'd just written the character out of the series. Is Rachel Dawes really that important to the series? I guess I shouldn't argue, as Chris Nolan has a flawless track record with me. It is important to mention that Ms. Gyllenhaal (Stranger Than Fiction, Mona Lisa Smile) is a very talented young actress who I'm sure will handle the role wonderfully. She may even prove better than Holmes (Though it must be said that they look eerily similar.) who many felt was a lightweight. I had no real problem with her so my opinion is pretty unbiased. At any rate, like Begins, The Dark Knight is shaping up to have a pretty amazing cast. Still, its unfortunate Philip Seymour Hoffman turned down the Penguin gig. That'd been killer. Ah well.

Peace out!

Film Review: 300 - THIS! IS! SPARTA-CULAR!

Ahoy-hoy! I'm back with another review of another comic-book property turned film. This week I'm reviewing Zack Snyder's take on Frank Miller's graphic novel 300. I'll start out by stating that the film is worth every cent of your admission ticket and is not only a great adaptation, but a great movie as well. 300 is also further proof that you can embrace your source material and people will still show up (70 mill opening weekend!). On top of all that, it's also the complete antithesis of that schlock-fest Ghost Rider. I don't want to dwell on that one anymore; it's just that 300 makes it even clearer how much that film screwed up...

BUT FIRST THE EXPOSITION! 300 is an imaginative retelling of the Battle of Thermopylae in 480 B.C, one of the greatest and earliest recorded military victories. The film tells the story of the brave Spartan king Leonidas (Gerard Butler - pictured), who, upon hearing of an imminent invasion by the Persian army ignores council orders and gathers three hundred of his best men to stop them. Unfortunately, the Persian's are a little larger in numbers... By roughly a million men. So, Leonadis and his soldiers, which include Captain (Vincent Regan) & his son Astinos (Tom Wisdom), Stelios (Michael Fassbender) and the film's narrator Dilios (David Wenham), soon find themselves wildly outnumbered and yet not outfought. This infuriates the Persian king Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro), who suffers from a serious God complex. Outside the bloodbath, Leonidas' wife Queen Gorgo (Lena Headey) attempts to persuade sleazy politician Theron (Dominic West) into sending the Spartan army to assist in the efforts.

Yeesh. These names are tough to keep straight. Anyhow, while the film's description may sound a bit confusing, 300 is an extremely simple film. It actually reminded me of Mel Gibson's brilliant Apocalypto in the sense that both films are very minimalist in dialogue and plot. Instead, they rely on action to tell their story. In 300's case, we are presented with one of the most visually exciting films I've seen in many a moon.

To see trailers or previews for 300 on TV is not enough to comprehend what an accomplishment the film is. This is a movie that is an absolutely perfect example of what film can do better than any other medium. We are presented with a beautifully constructed artificial world that is enthralling to witness. Every second of the battle is lovingly rendered to have the highest possible impact. From the breath-taking landscapes to the Miller-esque sprays of blood, 300 is a film obsessed with even the smallest details. Battle scenes of this type of magnitude can often seem confusing or too frenetic (My biggest problem with Gladiator) since everyone is dressed similarly. Director Snyder joyfully slows everything down so we can linger on individual moments. He's not content to have two or three great money moments. Rather, every scene is constructed on an epic scale with truly captivating style.

I really have to hand it to Zack Snyder (Pictured). I admired the opening to his Dawn Of The Dead remake, but felt the film quickly fell to mediocre status. Here, however, Snyder delivers the goods and establishes himself as a director to look out for. I love seeing a hungry young director really grab hold of a project and give it their all. With 300, Snyder has done that and every bit of his enthusiasm washes over the audience. This guy wasn't content to deliver the umpteenth Troy/Kingdom of Heaven/Alexander variation. No, he had to go and do something completely different... And blow us all away. Take a bow, dude.

The acting is solid across the board. Part of the problem with this type of film is that it's told on such an epic scale that there is little room for subtlety. The characters are very broad and have little emotional depth. It's forgivable here, however, due to the story-telling parameters. This isn't a historical re-enactment, it's a legend. Thus, each character is larger than life and performed to match their mythic status. In the case of Leonadis and his men, the Spartan warriors prefer to speak through their actions. Gerard Butler's dialogue mostly consists of rousing battlefield speeches played out at full volume. Butler (Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle Of Life, The Phantom Of The Opera) is extremely effective and deserves credit for maintaining a consistency that prevents his heroic king from slipping into parody. The same goes for Lena Headley (The Brothers Grimm, The Cave - Pictured above) who delivers her grave warnings and philosophic statements regarding the nature of war with regal authority. I was particularly impressed with David Wenham's (Faramir in the Lord Of The Rings) narration. His voice is note-perfect for this material. Plus, I have to give a shout-out to the villains. Dominic West (The Forgiven, Mona Lisa Smile), in full on sneer mode, really gives us an A-grade scumbag that we truly despise. His moment of come-uppance is a true crowd-pleaser. As Xerxes, Rodrigo Santoro (TV's Lost - Pictured left) provides the film's strangest performance. His God-king is an androgynous whack-job who hypnotizes the audience every time he pops up.

I have to also mention that I was truly pleased that the folks behind 300 gleefully earn their R-rating. This is a film made for adults, and I appreciated that they treated it as such. You can tell that the studio and Snyder put their full confidence in Frank Miller's work and knew there was an audience out there. They didn't feel the need to throw in lousy jokes or A-list actors to draw the dull-witted folks in. So, my biggest thanks goes out to the studio for not condescending to the material or the public.

Finally, let me just say that it's imperative for you to see this film in a theatre. This is not a lazy Saturday night in front the TV movie. It has been designed to be seen on the biggest screen possible (I saw it in IMAX) with the best sound system. Snyder and co. have created something that simply won't be as astonishing on a television at home.

So, there you go. Save those Ghost Rider (Or God forbid Norbit) dollars and head over to 300. You'll be thrilled and mesmerized and won't regret it. This is what a night out at the movies is all about.

4/5

P.S.: Now I can't wait for Snyder's next film: an adaptation of the beloved Alan Moore graphic novel Watchmen. Stay tuned.

Film Review: GHOST RIDER: Failing To Ignite, This RIDER Stalls.

I generally have a rule about writing movie reviews on here. I usually don't like to write reviews for films that have been released for a week or over. I figure no one cares by then. Well, I'm going to break that rule today because I'm annoyed. Let me tell you why. Last night I finally got to see the eagerly awaited Ghost Rider. It should have been a good experience. It wasn't. Instead, I witnessed a perfect example of how to make a lousy comic-book adaptation.
But first, the required exposition. Ghost Rider (incompetently) tells the tale of stuntman extraordinaire Johnny Blaze (Nicolas Cage). As a lad Johnny made a deal with the devil Mephistopheles (Peter Fonda) to save his father, Barton Blaze, from cancer. The devil took Johnny's soul in exchange for allowing his father to be cured of cancer. As Johnny found out though, the devil is a slippery bugger and his father died soon after in a motorbike stunt gone awry. Flash forward 25 years. Johnny is a stuntman of rock star proportions, surviving crashes that would make Super Dave Osborne cry. It's at this point that the devil comes a-callin'. Seems, Mephistopheles' emo son Blackheart (Wes Bentley) has escaped hell and is looking for a poorly explained scroll that will somehow make him a ruler of Earth. Johnny then becomes the Ghost Rider, a flaming skull-headed creature of the night, using a flaming chain and ghastly stare to stop evil dead in its tracks. The poor dumb sap then has to defeat Blackheart and his clown-shoe minions and fight for the love of vacant-eyed news reporter Roxanne Simpson (Eva Mendes).

Whew. While that paragraph may seem like sheer nonsense, it is far better laid out than anything you will witness in Ghost Rider. This is a film in which the filmmakers examined the source material, underestimated its potential, and decided to make a lowest-common denominator B-movie. Director Mark Steven Johnson (Who I thought did a pretty good job with Daredevil) surveyed the comics-to-film landscape and decided to steer away from films like Batman Begins, Spider-Man or Superman Returns, and instead aimed for Elektra and Blade: Trinity territory. It's harder to fail when you try to accomplish so little, I suppose.

Past comic adaptations have lived or died by the strength of their characters. Ghost Rider deserves an award for assembling the most poorly written cast of characters perhaps ever in comic-land. Nicolas Cage is an actor who is brilliant when given good material, but frightening when given bad (See The Wicker Man - "KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GOD-DAMNED HONEY!!!"). Here, he plays Johnny Blaze as being completely devoid on any real human characteristics. He's one-note and not the slightest bit interesting. There is never any feeling of a man living with a curse, only an actor wading through bad material and trying not to look too ridiculous (He fails). It's never good when a CG flaming skull head with a demonic Darth Vader voice has ten times more on-screen charisma and personality than you do...

As the love interest, Eva Mendes is bottom of the barrel. Her Roxanne is possibly the stupidest woman to appear in a comic-book film (That's saying something after Elle Macpherson's acclaimed performance in Batman & Robin). There is no depth to the character. She's merely in the film to wear clothes usually reserved for escorts, and to be kidnapped. Eva Mendes is not good... But then it's hard to excel when you're playing a blank slate.

It's funny. Just the other day I lambasted Tommy Lee Jones' Two-Face for being the worst villain ever in a comic-book movie. Well, not anymore. Blackheart, played by Wes Bentley (The video-camera pervert in American Beauty - Pictured center), has the charisma of a peanut. When not pouting and looking like a Hot Topic reject, he's making unconvincing threats and mincing like a boy-band member. He makes the actors around him seem like the cast of a Scorsese or Altman flick. And in this film, that's an achievement. He lacks any menace, and makes Jim Carrey's flamboyant Riddler from Batman Forever seem like Leatherface or Michael Myers. Even Blackheart's big transformation scene is almost a complete carbon copy of Stephen Dorff's climactic moment in the first Blade. A host of spirits flying around and through him? Check. Red eyes? Check. Cheesy sneer? Check. Cool death? Whoops.

The rest of the cast does what they can, but ultimately fails due to the material. Peter Fonda has the silky charm, but his lines are so terrible that his devil isn't very interesting. Donal Logue, as Blaze's best friend, disappears for long stretches at a time, popping up randomly and for no real purpose. Sam Elliott (Pictured), as the mysterious Caretaker, is the only actor who's effective, but then when is Sam Elliott ever not effective. He's wasted here.

The film is a cut-and-paste hack job from beginning to end. Scenes seem random and without any gravity. The film is filled with dramatic scenes stripped of weight and lousy "comic relief" moments. I don't mind humour in these movies, but the jokes here are painfully hokey. Even the action scenes are lifeless and unexciting. The only area in which the film is a success is in the area of special effects. The Ghost Rider himself is glorious to behold. The CG flame is dead-on and he has real weight as a character. He is interesting to watch and his scenes are the only moments in which the film takes flight.

I can't call this film a complete failure, as it nailed the Ghost Rider. But it's a cinematic bomb of characterization, plotting and structure. While it's never boring, it's complete lack of ambition and inventiveness prevents it from being anything but watchable trash. I truly hope Marvel snatches this franchise away from Mark Steven Johnson for the inevitable sequel. Giving it to a director with ambition and an original vision would do wonders for this material. Maybe then the Rider will truly get his due.

1.5/5