Tuesday, May 06, 2008

One Face, Two-Face, Three Face, Gore-Face.

Having a conscience is somewhat detrimental in the world of online film writing. So much of our time is given to revealing secrets, such as Venom's visage or Dennis Quaid's pathetic lack of dignity in the face of Steven Sommers, that when something really juicy comes along we have a tendency to think of the story before the reader.

This is the case with this entry, where I have a fairly big spoiler that is a major leak to the feverishly awaited The Dark Knight. It would appear that we finally have a crystal clear glimpse at what we can expect Aaron Eckhart's Two-Face to look like. Now, I'm going to post this pic further down in the article so that those of you who want to avoid it can simply click away to something else. Maybe or whatever. So, proceed no further if you want to walk into Dark Knight free of spoiler-age.

Anyone left? No? Hmmm... See, I'm costing myself readers with my unusually sincere consideration... Well, anyways, we all recall that abomination that Joel Schumacher birthed back in 1995: an unholy marriage of neon extravagance and mental retardation, Two-Face '95 was nothing less than a swift kick to the crotch for every dedicated Bat-fan optimistically walking into the theatre in those grim, hopeless days of summer. I've ranted about it before, but just allow me this indulgence, I'm setting a scene. Two-Face '95, with his bright purple face and tiger striped suits was about as threatening as those Batsuit nipples. Actually, less so.

Flash forward to now. We, the legion of survivors of the Schumacher era, can now stand tall and cease the endless sobbing into our pillows. Dark Knight director Christopher Nolan has done right, helping heal those old wounds. We may still shudder uncontrollably whenever we hear Seal's Kiss From A Rose, but we now have a Two-Face to embrace and shower with geek-love.

As witnessed in this concept art photo that was leaked yesterday, Two-Face '08 is nothing less than horrifyingly awesome. Gone is the green/purple burn marks, replaced by exposed bone, ropy sinew, and charred skin. Going the more realistic route, similar to Heath Ledger's brilliant Joker update, Nolan has created a fairly true-to-life horror that promises to be every bit as transfixing as the Clown Prince of Crime.

This does a lot for my confidence in the inevitable third film. Joker is a tough act to follow, especially judging from everything we've seen thus far. But I have complete faith now in Aaron Eckhart taking over lead-villain reigns with gusto and vigour, and aiding in providing a satisfying and intelligent final chapter to the planned trilogy.

However, I do have to wonder about the parental outrage that will result from children staring at this repulsive mug. A simple memory of '92 will recall the controversy over the darkness of Batman Returns, and how parents protested its family-unfriendly atmosphere. Everything that has been released regarding Dark Knight hints towards a similar lack of "brightness". In fact, at this point it’s hard to imagine the film getting less than an R-rating, though if Live Free Or Die Hard could squeak by, I image Warner Bros' diamond tiara property likely will too...

Either way, this leak only intensifies my undying devotion to seeing this film on July 18th, hopefully at 12:01am. We may not see much more than a cameo from our friendly neighborhood burn victim, but it'll undoubtedly be a billion times more rewarding than all 2 hours of Batman Forever. Start the countdown Bat-fans...

I'll be back tomorrow with my Iron Man review.
Oh by the way, I know I promised to cease with any more Pro-Joe propoganda, but here's the first Destro photo. Yup, guy in suit. Will wonders never cease? What I really love is that his full name is James McMillan Destro XXIV. That means thirteen other poor souls had to wield that ridiculous moniker. As far as looks go, Christopher Eccleston is a non-event. Kinda skinny, old and bland. That may have worked for Gone In Sixty Seconds, but for G.I. Joe... That's just plain sad.

Thanks again Stephen Sommers for another brilliant reinterpretation of a childhood favorite. I eagerly await the newest Sgt. Slaughter in a wrestling unitard.

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