Friday, March 21, 2008

G.I. JOE: First Publicity Pics A (Snake)EYE-ful

Hey there, just a short update (It's 12:30am and I'm too tired to rattle on like a dementia- crazed Floridian). Now, I'm sure any of you wandering over to this inconsistently updated corner of the web-verse are well educated on the upcoming G.I. Joe film adaptation. It's been covered half to death over at and the most excellent But before I get to the news, an update for the confused.

Stephen Sommers (Pictured right), the mastermind behind the Mummy series and Deep Rising... Not to mention Van Helsing... God, did that movie suck! A joyless exercise in CG buffoonery! Man, those were two hours of my life I'll never get back... You know, I don't know why I'm wasting space talking about anything that goblin hack is associated with! Oh yeah, I remember! See, as much as I dislike the directorial ineptitude of Sommers, I do have a soft spot for G.I. Joe.

Now, when I say I have a soft spot, I am in no way trying to call myself out as a super-fan. I never had many figures or watched the show (My mom wouldn't let me! I know, sacrilege!!!), but I have fond memories of spending hours with my friends Mark, Iain and Ben creating massive efforts of action-figure driven mayhem. So, when I say I look forward to a G.I. Joe movie, it’s for that simple nostalgia of two or three kids sitting on the front lawn imagining violently horrific acts that were probably psychology harming.

But back to the flick, G.I. Joe: The Movie, which is underway now (And due to be released summer 2009). A slight alteration: they are now a global taskforce as opposed to an American power. Probably a good idea for foreign business. So far, the cast includes: Dennis Quaid (Day After Tomorrow, Jaws 3D) as Hawk, Channing Tatum (Step Up) as Duke, Joseph Gordon-Levitt (3rd Rock From The Sun, The Lookout) as Cobra Commander (Apparently a pivotal character in the movie who will begin on the side of good and transform into the bitchy narcissist we know and love by film's end.), Sienna Miller (Stardust, Layer Cake) as Baroness, Rachel Nichols (P2) as Scarlett, Christopher Eccleston (28 Days Later) as Destro (The film's main villain), Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (!!!) (Get Rich And Die Trying) as Heavy Duty, Marlon Wayans (Scary Movie, Requiem For A Dream) as Ripcord, Arnold Vosloo (The Mummy) as Zartan, Byung-hun Lee as Storm Shadow and most exciting of all: Jonathan Pryce (Pirates Of The Caribbean trilogy) as "The President".

Now let’s delve deeper into that Jonathan Pryce casting! What I've always found fascinating about Jonathan Pryce is his ability to find the emotionally duality of his character. Why, his "President" will no doubt be a scintillating study in the corrupting power of the military industrial complex over political independence...

Oh wait, who cares?! No, let's get to the real enchilada, the reason I'm wasting your time and mine in posting this update. I wanna talk about Snake-Eyes! No, not the Nicolas Cage movie! Though I could happily discuss that wretched Brian DePalma debacle for hours... Anyways, I'm referring, obviously, to everyone's favorite mute, black-clad ninja-assassin. Well, as was announced a while back, he'll be portrayed by Ray Park (Pictured right), he who was Darth Maul and Toad in X-Men, as well as his most popular character: A.J. Ross in Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever! Park, a killer martial artist, is frankly the largest reason I'm psyched to see this flick. Snake-Eyes, the biggest fan-fave, has to potential to be an awesome vehicle to show off Park's skills and agility. Hopefully Sommers, after finishing "Directing For Dummies", re-watched Star Wars: Episode I and made notes. Give this guy long shots and long takes. No crappy Bourne-style camera work. No MTV-editing. This is obviously all speculation, as its unlikely Sommers has the ability to write, but I can hope and pray that Park finally gets a good launching pad that could get his first dream project, a film adaptation of Marvel's Iron Fist, off and running.

Oh, and to please you rabid Snake-Eyes fans, here's two awesome shots of Park in full regalia. I'm gonna just post them big, and not scrunch them up amongst my desperate-for-attention yammering. Enjoy.

Okay guys, that's them! I'll try to post the first Destro and Cobra Commander pics as well whenever they surface. AND I PROMISE to get the first Jonathan Pryce as "President" pics! I can easily squeeze 1000 words outta those! Speaking of which, I'm actually close to that point now, so I'm gonna git to bed. I'm tired and have to work tomorrow. Check back soon for more wacky Jonathan Pryce-related news here as Cam's P.(ryce)-C.(entred) Episodes.

Heh heh heh... You said it, Johnny-boy! You rocked in Tomorrow Never Dies!

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